Issues

(Think about It) by

Flight of the Conchords

I was waiting at the bus stop, listening to music, and this guy approached me. His teeth were yellow, he was short, and worse of all, old. I thought he might have been some mental guy because I saw him talk to himself a bit. But I didn't want to judge.

Already I was alarmed, he was less than 2 feet away from my face and I was leaned against the transit station wall. It was a bit of a helpless situation. The man said, "I'm sorry. I'm not an asshole." I removed one earplug and nodded slowly. The man told me that his name was James. He stepped closer to me and said, "You're a grown woman, right?" I shrugged, "Not necessarily, I'm 18." He stepped back by an inch or so, "Oh, I got daughters older than you." I nodded.

"Have you been with an older man?"

"No. And not planning on it."

"Ah, well, I like pretty things."

I said, "Okay. But..." He interrupted me, "I want to get with you but I'm in my 50s and that would be make me a pedophile, right?" He chuckled awkwardly. I stared, "Technically, yes." I moved a bit while he got closer and said, "Right." He walked away as I was a little spooked.

Okay, I know I could have lied and said that I was 16 or 17. But I already look it. Even if he assumed I was 18 for whatever reason, it was inappropriate of him to be so close to me. And the matter is that he wanted to feel me out to see if I'm some sexually curious girl who wants to sleep with a raggedy looking old man. Sadly, I'm used to sketchy older guys checking me out. The worst part was a woman and her child walked by as this creepy dude is in my face. She didn't say anything. I mean, this guy seemed to be not far from saying something even weirder.

This world is getting better, worse, and uglier.